Reasons Women should go out with Me

 

  1. If you let me take you to dinner, you get free food.
  2. I give incredible back rubs.
  3. Pets seem to like me.
  4. Smiles and laughter: free with every interaction.
  5. Would you want to be known throughout history as "the one who let Michelle get away"?
  6. Good news for me: my mother is still alive. Bad news for you: inlaws!
  7. Better news for you: My mother says you will like her more than me. (friends have confirmed this)
  8. I love to laugh, and make others laugh.
  9. Sarcasm, included after 3 months.
  10. Yearly vacations.
  11. I take a shower at least once a day.
  12. I do my own laundry and have never put a red shirt in with the whites.
  13. I only tie women up and spank them when they ask me to.
  14. I understand the difference between their, there, and they're.
  15. I am gainfully employed.
  16. Though I enjoy an occasional drink I am more than happy to be the designated driver on all occasions. Get as drunk as you like.
  17. I'm magically delicious.
  18. I have a flat screen and video games--you'll know where to find me on Saturday nights.
  19. I own the right tools and know how to use them. (real tools)
  20. Four out of five dentists recommend me.
  21. New & Improved Michelle, now with 5% more wackiness than the old Michelle.
  22. I am cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.
  23. I'm cute and cuddly.
  24. I don't just want to grope your body.
  25. I'm not easy, but we can discuss it.
  26. Take me now. There will be plenty of time for normal people later.
  27. I only look innocent.
  28. I don't cheat on my partners or my income taxes.
  29. I'll respect you in the morning.
  30. My baggage fits nicely under the seat in front of me leaving room in the overhead compartment for other's larger baggage.
  31. I have The Sound of MusicDescription: http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=samstoybox-20&l=ur2&o=1 and Hairspray on DVD, we can watch whenever you want! (I also have over 500 other DVD’s I’m sure we can find something)
  32. I've never said no to a woman who wanted to have one of her girlfriends join us in bed. No woman has ever asked mind you but I see that as a technicality.
  33. I’m a big kid, I want the cool toys. 'nuff said.
  34. I can often hold up my end of a conversation.
  35. I’m told I am romantic. I just believe actions speak louder than words.
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